Noncompete Countdown: 6 days to go!

On August 31, my noncompete ends!

Guess what, doctor colleagues?

• I did not die.

• My family did not starve.

• We did not have to move.

• I still practice medicine.

• I still can pay my student loan bills.

If you are MISERABLE in your job and your noncompete is the only thing holding you back, I’m here to tell you...it does not need to be a deadstop in your world.

If you let it, it can be an opportunity: to think creatively, to try something new, to stretch yourself as a doctor … and to find happiness.

Aren’t those things totally worth facing even with a little bit (or lot of bit in my case) of fear?

If you want to talk about how to leave a job well (even if you have a noncompete), let’s set up a time to chat here: https://buff.ly/2PpehFn

Bye Bye Noncompete Countdown: 10 days to go!

On August 31, my noncompete ends!

AND THE CROWD GOES WILD!!!

When I was practicing in my previous practice, my noncompete clause had so much power over me. It felt like a prisoner’s chain strapping me to the boulder of unfulfilling work, misery and burnout.

I didn’t want to relocate my family and I felt that I couldn’t afford not to work there. How the heck was I going to find a job?

It wasn’t until I had a huge epiphany...my non-compete were just words on a page, placed in a document to control and scare me. In reality, those paragraphs were a small fragment blacking out in a whole huge spectrum of work that I could do in this world.

Still being scared, I asked my organization to release me from my noncompete clause, and they declined.

In the end, I left anyway. I walked away still dragging this feeling of baggage behind me but determined to drag this load forward and not let it hold me back! (Just like dragging those obstacles in Spartan races)

And guess what? The world didn’t end. I networked, I looked for opportunities, I consulted with attorneys and other colleagues who had been through this. I started speaking openly about searching for a new job.

I got so many offers!

I took a job in emergency medicine (outside my non-compete) with a private physician group (also outside my non-compete) and guess what again? I have been so much more happy this entire year.

If you’re scared of your noncompete clause, I’ll just say: it doesn’t have to own you. I’m now celebrating this last set of chains being stripped away that no longer has the power to hold me back from a life of fulfillment.

I want to talk with you about how to leave your job well (even if you have a noncompete) and move into a life well lived! Let’s set up a time to talk! Click HERE

Be Moana, Not a Flower: You are Never Stuck

Welcome to another day of burnout recovery week! It sounds like we're going to AA or something. But really I'm talking about recovery from burnout in your professional life. I truly believe that you can have a job that you love to go to. It can be sustainable for your life and you can stop taking vacations just to get away from the office.

Today, we're going to talk about feeling stuck. For me, there is no worse feeling then when I feel like that I am stuck. I HATE NOT being able to move from a situation or figure out how to make it better. I get frustrated and grouchy when I feel like I'm pinned in the corner. I'm like a caged animal that just wants to come after your jugular and fight my way out of it.

But guess what I've learned. It's not about fighting your way out of a situation. It's about shifting your mindset to realize you aren't really stuck. Instead of thinking you're locked in a box, maybe you just need to turn the handle and step out!

Here are my suggestions on how to remind yourself that you are really never stuck:

“You are not a flower, move your ass.”

Have you seen the social media square that says "Bloom where you are planted"?

Well I'm going to be honest with you, I hate that graphic.

To me, it's like saying, "Well...your situation sucks but just stay there and do your best."

Yes, we have to make our situation the best that we can. However, when we give up trying to change our situation...that's accepting defeat.

That's accepting that you are stuck in a situation and limiting the possibilities that it can change.

So, I say pull up the damn roots and move out of that garden!

Maybe it's in your practice? Maybe it's time to change locations where you live? Maybe it's time to prune out some relationships in your life that are not healthy?

No matter what it is, stop “just dealing with it” and commit to making a change!

“Your job does not define you”

As a mother of three young children, we have a lot of Moana in our lives. But that’s ok because I think it is a WONDERFUL movie. I catch myself singing “this does not define you...This is not who you are...You know who you are.”

If you don’t know, Moana is a girl who will lead her people after her father.

"I can lead with pride

I can make us strong

I'll be satisfied if I play along

But the voice inside sings a different song

What is wrong with me"

She's loves her island but had a deep yearning for the sea, “it calls me.”

Like Moana, we all have things we are committed to and that we do love (our island, our people) but we have the one little part deep down inside of us that we can't get off our minds, it calls to us.

We see others doing or experiencing that thing we secretly desire. Don’t get caught in the mindset that you are stuck where you are. Because that yearning, it means something. It is hard to step out on it. Just like it was scary for Moana to jump in a boat and sail the ocean having never been off her island. But the payoff…..it’s priceless.

Listen to Moana’s Gramma Tala:

You are your father's daughter

Stubbornness and pride

Mind what he says but remember

You may hear a voice inside

And if the voice starts to whisper

To follow the farthest star

Moana, that voice inside is

Who you are

TOP EXCUSES WHY YOU CAN'T CHANGE

I've heard all the reason why you can't make changes. Hell, I've even spoken most of them myself. Let me tell them to you and why it's just not true…

“I’m stuck in this position because I am participating in a loan repayment program.”

Yes, those agreements have some penalties for not completing them: immediate or full repayment, increase in interest rates, an added penalty. So what!

Take the hit and get out. Why stay miserable for a 16% interest rate or 10k? Isn't feeling better WORTH it!

Get creative on how to pay the penalties or additional interest and GET OUT FROM UNDER THIS ENSLAVING CONTRACT!

Ask help from someone who has been in a similar situation to you and see how they handled the potential penalties. (ahh-hhmm...been there...maybe I can help!)

Ask to be released from the contract. (You never get what you don't ask for.)

Find a position that is willing to take on these burdens as part of your signing bonus. Or ask your new company/group to take this on as part of your compensation model.

Think: Are these penalties really that bad or am I making them bigger than what they really are?

No matter, do not let these burdens keep you in a place of darkness, feeling trapped or indebted.

“I can't leave my job because I really love some of my patients.”

Best advice I ever got on this topic was… ‘There's always one more patient. You have to learn to walk away.’

We do become really attached to our people. I have wept with patients, for patients and because of patients. At the end of the day, you cannot do this because of other people. Live your life and work your work for YOURSELF. You can't be fulfilled if you living your life for other people who aren't even in your family!?!

Your fulfillment must come from inside of you and your passions.

You will continue to touch lives no matter where you go and what you do.

Sure, you will miss these current relationships. But you will also make new relationship.  

You may be missing out on helping and curing patients you may never have interacted with if you stay where you are now. That's a food for thought!!!

“If I quit, then I'm a failure at medicine." -or- "If I quit then I'm just not cut out for this." 

Did you get through medical school?

Did you get through residency?

Did you pass your boards?

Where in the hell do you see any failure in that?

Just because a job doesn't work out, it doesn't mean that you are inadequate or incapable of being a wonderful physician.

In no way are you an absolute failure because you recognize that where you're working is not aligning with who you are as a person! 

This is where I get clear about the difference between a job, profession and career. Your job is where you go, who you work for and what you do on a daily basis. Your profession is the occupation or trade that you received trading/education in. Your career is your life's work. It's the combination of all jobs, occupations, skills, knowledge and experience. It's the journey.

My career is to help others. My profession is physician and life coach. My job is currently an EM physician at a small Indiana hospital.

You can change jobs. You can change professions. Your career is lifelong and about walking your journey. Job changes are just part of the path! It's not FAILURE, it's just adaption.

My definition of true failure: "You only truly fail if you give up all hope and never take another step forward, never try again or give another chance."

“I don't know what else I could be besides a doctor.”

Physicians are some of the most intelligent and creative individuals that this Earth has.

Whatever we trap ourselves in the box of thinking that there is nothing else that we can do besides practice medicine in the exact same way that we are doing now then we lock our creativity and intellectual power out.

There is not only the decision to stay or go. There are literally thousands of different opportunities that you can pursue by just being you.

Do you like writing? Write content within medicine, blogs for patient education, blogs for companies, write something totally out of the healthcare realm, like a fictional novel or children's book. 

There are no limits when you discover what the desires of your heart and start dreaming how to pursue them.

I hear, "I just want to help other people." Well, you can help others WHILE not practicing medicine. You can help people and practice medicine in a totally different way. You can help people and practice traditional medicine but do it the way that is sustainable and invigorating for you.

The key here is you must stop putting yourself in a box with limitations and start opening your mind up to the infinite possibilities of what you can do with your skills, your creativity, your intelligence, your passions, and your desire.

I hope this was helpful to shift your mind frame from "oh that can't happen" to "HELL YES." Let's make it happen. I want to be your coach. CLICK HERE to schedule.

If you want more information about how I change my practice or what I'm doing to help other positions change their practice, hang out with me on social media!

Check out my program DOCTOR ME FIRST on how you can live a life that goes from just surviving to thriving.

Be well!

My Experience of "Being Coached"

Within my first months of practice, I was desperately searching for help. I can remember sitting in my office after hours scrolling through my phone thinking, “There’s got to be a solution for how I’m feeling.”

I had been reading the KevinMD blog with other physicians feeling similar to how I did but their solutions of DPC (direct patient care), training in fillers and botox or leaving their practice then traveling the world just didn’t fit me.

I came across a blog post about being an entrepreneur physician and it directed me to a site called The Entrepreneurial MD. After reading through, I signed up for the freebie. I enjoyed it so much that later I bought the self paced “Physician Odyssey” program. I learned so much about myself in the first chapter but I craved to talk to another physician. I need an non-biased colleague to talk about how I was feeling and what I should do next that I signed up with Philippia Keannely MD to be my coach.

It was a slow start but through our coaching relationship, I was able to have huge discoveries.

I describe my “being coached” experience as THE CAVE.

I felt like I had gotten lost in a cave deep, down in the ground with a broken flashlight. When I got a coach, it felt as if someone joined me, replaced the batteries in my flashlight (empower me) and say, “Hey, I’m here with you. Let’s walk and explore.”

This black cave lit up with this new ray of light (hope). Instead of being a creepy dark place, it was now a beautiful cavern with rock formations and sparkling jewels embedded in the walls (to any Snow White fans, you know what I’m talking about). I felt like during our coaching calls, we would go on these exploration walks where she would let me lead and ask insightful questions that made me go, “Hmmm, IDK?!” We had many deep conversation along the way while just exploring and not trying to solve all my solutions.

Eventually, I got to a place that I felt confident enough to go out on myself. We had worked on my plan together. I then was able to walk out of that dark place by myself on my own terms because of her help.

Being so changed by this manner of openness and authenticity, I knew that I had to become a coach as well for other physicians but also because it fulfills a burning desire to help other in me.

Coaching is not about me giving you answers. It’s not about me pulling you along and jumping your ass when things get tough or off course. It truly is about exploring YOU, giving you support and just taking one step forward. The goal is that eventually the steps get easier, you learn how to walk your path and I get to be your biggest cheerleader!

I hope that you truly consider coaching with me because I know how much my first coach changed my life. I would love to do the same for you!

Burnout Doesn't Just Stay At The Office

How Burnout Affects Home Life and More

Wouldn't it be nice if life was organized and managed by the clothes we wore. The office or hospital, I put on my white doctor coat and therefore become Dr. Weisman. I changed to my yoga pants and comfy LLR tee and now, BOOM, I'm Mommy. If only these outfits defined which role I was currently in and nothing else competed with it, right?!? 

But how many times have I pulled my cell from my front pocket of my white coat to see a text about my children or friend? Or been at home in my favorite black yoga pants and answered pages or completed charts?

No matter how hard I have tried, life can't be compartmentalize. All areas of my life overlap one another often. Why?

Because LIFE IS MESSY!

The following are issues I want to speak to that complicate the beautiful mess of life even more:

• Mom Guilt

• Doctor Boundaries

• Spouse Problems

 

MOM GUILT

This is self-shame revolving around the false beliefs like "I'm not enough for my family" or "Someone else is raising my children when it should be me" or "If I was enough, I could handle this."

These thoughts are deeply rooted in identity, worthiness, self-value, unresolved fear and/or our perception of what motherhood and doctoring "should" look like.

I ask you to explore your own thoughts:

• How do you define what qualifies as “good enough” for you?

• Can you really define what will make you “enough”?

• Are there any double standards you are setting up for yourself?

My point is that ENOUGH is undefinable. It is an unreachable point on the horizon. Its definition can be shifting from moment to moment and is absolutely unattainable because in our heads, we change "what is enough" by the second.

So know this....you are enough right where you sit! The only person who gets to define your enough is you!

I remind myself of this when I start to get all flustered about not appearing "good enough." I tell myself MESSY HAIR, DON'T CARE as a cue to say, "I'm here. I'm showing up. I'm being me and that's enough."

You get to make your own definition of enough so own that!

 

DOCTOR BOUNDARIES

You block off the end of the day because you promised a special little someone you would pick them up on-time. Then a call comes in just prior to the phones being rolled over to the call center. Now, you are conflicted between seeing this person or sending them to the ER.

If you are like me, I hate turning people away but how can you WIN?

Stay, squeeze the person in and leave your child to be the last one picked up yet again or leave, get your kiddo but then think "did I do the right thing by sending them to the ED?"

This is where the programming of ‘patient first’ comes into play hard. It starts in medical training that we are taught to place the needs of others before our own. But were was the teaching on how and when do you put yourself, your own health, or your family first? Where was the lectures about healthy boundaries?

This climate of "accessibility" for patients is chipping away at our personal boundaries and family time. Patients want us opening our doors earlier and staying later, they want to text us and get immediate answers. But no one is talking about this is uncompensated, inappropriate interruptions of our personal time.

No wonder we have trouble with boundaries and feel guilt about turning patients away. There is little help maintaining our personal space (like leaving 30 minutes early one time to get your kid), the unrealistic expectations that we are always doctor first and that we don't need private time.

 

SPOUSE PROBLEMS

Burnout can break a marriage to the core. You're already feeling disengaged, exhausted and experiencing compassion fatigue. Then if your support system at home doesn't understand, your marriage could hinder or derail any positive efforts you are making to get better from professional burnout.

At one point, I felt like my husband became my roommate and assistant coach rather than my life partner. We were just trying to manage the chaos and throw people back in bounds. I could see why my colleagues are getting divorced, why put up with chaos at the office then have to come home and fight it too!

Luckily, my husband admitted he didn't know how to help me but that he would do whatever I needed. What I told him, "I just need you to listen. Don't try to fix me or my job or stuff. Just listen." When he stopped trying to give suggestions and I finally started to open up to him about how I was feeling (overwhelmed, exhausted, fearful, despaired, broken), we experienced  a HUGE difference in how we interacted with each other. We hit a breaking point or a turning point and I'm so glad we pivoted!!

So no matter where you find yourself, know that you're not the first one to experience any of this. Know that you are not alone!

If you want to talk, CLICK HERE to schedule a time to chat with me!